Learning about death acceptance: Part 1

While it’s true that every living thing eventually dies, it’s still perfectly natural to struggle with accepting the reality of death. It’s difficult to come to terms with our own demise, and it can be even more difficult, if not unimaginable, to consider the death of the people we love.

This is especially true in a society where death is shrouded in mystery and taboo, a spectre to be feared. As a deathcare organization, Memorial Planning seeks to educate communities on death and dying – that includes peeling back the curtain of stigma and starting valuable conversations.

Concerning the question of, “How can I accept death?”, the short answer is that there is no singular way to accept it, as the journey to embrace the concept of final rest is unique to everyone. As with many of life’s big questions, no one has all the answers.

The long answer is more complicated, so we’d like to offer these three avenues for exploring the challenging nature of death acceptance: Connection, finding solace, and taking control.

One avenue may help you accept your own final rest, another may help you come to terms with the death of another. One avenue may educate you on what to expect in the future, while another may be valuable in the circumstance of a pending death.

Before you begin, know that death acceptance is not the absence of fear or questions, and it is not rolling out the welcome mat for death – it is simply making your peace with the inevitable.

Connection: Learn from your community

Engage with deathcare experts and your inner circle
People are learning that discussing previously “hushed” topics can reveal that we all have shared experiences and help us learn from those who have unique perspectives. The same goes for topics of death, dying, and grief.

To start the conversation, you can speak with your friends or loved ones, or join an in-person or online forum devoted to end-of-life topics. Groups like Death Cafes are growing in popularity, so see if there is one in your area. If you can’t find a group to your liking, try starting one yourself.

You can also learn from those who study death or who are companions to the dying. Do some research to see who’s available in your area – you may find death educators, grief experts, or thanatologists who host seminars. There are also many “death doulas” who specialize in helping people explore their feelings on death and death acceptance.

Consider contacting a professional in your area to hear their stories and learn about their experiences.

Be creative
If you’re looking for a way to lighten the mood or alleviate the challenging nature of this topic, try approaching it from a creative angle. It may be easier to consider death acceptance by exploring it via your preferred medium.

Try listening to podcasts, reading books by grief experts, watching death-positive films and tv shows, or even playing games designed to help people discuss death with others (check out “The Death Deck”).

If you want to create something yourself, know that you’ll be partaking in a time-honored tradition: Humans have been creating music, stories, and art about death for ages.

Set aside some time to journal, sketch, or write a poem/short story to help you explore your thoughts and feelings around death acceptance.

You can start with a few different prompts:

My journey to death acceptance
Lessening fear with death acceptance
My feelings on death
My thoughts on death positivity and death anxiety

Creative expression is also helpful for children and teens who may not understand the gravity of death. If you’d like your child to be part of the conversation, join them in crafting a unique activity together.

While questions, concerns, or mixed feelings are likely to arise in this process, connecting with others and your inner thoughts can be fulfilling. Be sure to journal before and during your journey to death acceptance so you can see how new revelations and relationships inspire you.

In part two, we will explore the next avenue of death acceptance: Finding solace.

Photo: Husband and wife join hands to cheer ,Relationship care concept ,comforting family members ,mutual encouragement ,tenderness ,comfort and sympathy ,helping ,giving hope and believing Stock photos by Vecteezy